A Day, 'Sometimes I Forget My Age'.

When I entered my 20’s, I started to unconciously forget my exact age. As I grow older, in my mind, I’m still 20 and the moment I come to the realization of my real age, I start to get nervous and worried.

I begin to ask myself, ‘wait, this is my real age? I’m this old? Why is time running so fast’? This is sad honestly because overtime, I’ve learnt to stop attaching age to my reality. Sometimes I fear, I haven’t done this, I haven’t done that and I’m at this age?! This is crazy! Is it the society pressure? what is going on?

If you know Courtney Daniella Boateng, she hosts a podcast titled ‘To My Sisters’ and I happen to watch an eye-opening clip of her podcast. I’m just going to pick this part of what she said and I quote, ‘A lot of people have this view that, if it is not done while I’m young, it is not worth doing’

And then she goes ahead to caption it, ‘you have to be patience in the process and trust in the timing of your calling spanning a generation. Not everything is a word for ‘This Moment’ but many future moments that need you’. Oh, preach sister!

I have never heard words spoken in such manner. There should be a need to stay hidden and stop seeking an unasked validation from people we know or don’t know from what we see or what other people do. Just like what someone in the comment section said that I relate to, there is always this frustration of not having, ‘achieved’ the things you wish to do, but she slowly learnt that God has to put you through situations and mature you, ‘cook you’ as Courtney said, until you can share it to the world. I need to know this. I need to learn this. I need to understand this.

There is a need to be patient and the need to stop worrying about food that needs to be cooked at a particular time, day, month, year, whichever, when there isn’t even ingredients prepared for it yet. Why the rush to move quickly?

Courtney said, ‘a lot of people don’t like the idea of being hidden, success is equated to, ‘I am seen. If I am not seen, how will people know I’m successful? And if people don’t have things to see, like the way I dress and the things I have, what’s being the marker of my success. And there is this obsession with being seen and being plat formed, which is easier now because of social media. Can you let go of this obsession with being seen enough to allow yourself to be cooked in the hidden place. A lot of people don’t like that because there’s this idolatry of being seen’.

Yeah right, why the constant need to be seen relevant? Is it for you or for them? If it’s for you, then there’s no need to rush. God’s time is the best. I deeply and really want to always remember that.

Is this a safe space? I no longer want to unconsciously forget what my age really is because I’m worried of growing up when I’ve not done so much for myself.